My mind, my soul it seems lost and unknown to even me, I do not know where I am going, what I am doing, where I am heading to or even where I wanna go ahead in life. Its all Unknown!!
Life, as I lived has always been the most lethargic, easy going, not bothered like attitude where I really didn’t care to make it a good one, i just kept floating on the waves of life, no matter where they took me and how.
My childhood, was spent in a middle class family, but being the sole child never any burden was bought to my notice by my parents. As i grew older I got to know the real life struggles and hardships they had to go through to raise me with a silver spoon.
A bright student in my school days, from being the one to be competitive for getting the top rank in the class till 7th standard to even failing twice during my graduation years. Life has changed drastically for me, and no one else is to be blamed for it than my ownself.
As I headed in my life through my high school I kept on piling up my carelessness. My interest in studies was vanishing. I had gone into a shell of a careless attitude, everything is fine, nothing is lost, things will be fine.. a Total Laid Back Attitude, where I forgot that unless I do something to rectify things they aren’t gonna be fine ever. Parents who were once proud and told everyone that my child is bright in studies were the ones scolding me day in and out for being a failure.
Even after me finally graduating, my mind was never in place, my thoughts were never like enough of this laid back attitude and lets get it sorted. I enjoyed my time post grad. where I used to be sitting at home, chilling, watching movies, playing cricket, going out with friends and basically enjoying life to the fullest.
I finally went for an interview and got selected in my first interview, that was an amazing feeling I cant forget, there were rains and there was beer !!
Finally I felt like life is a bit sorted now, I had my own money in my pocket. But that wasn’t enough, never felt like working there, I joined just because I was fed up with all the bombarding I used to get from my parents for doing nothing and just sitting at home.
I have changed 3 companies till now in my 6 years career and I believe the soul reason for me not getting the feeling of comfort in any is because of a soul reason I feel and that is because I hate to work. This laid back attitude I am carrying puts me in a loop where I am stuck and I do not know in my mind and in my thoughts as to what is right and what is not, where should I head, what should I do and what should I avoid. There is never a clear consensus of it, its all unknown.
Zorro8 